Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
