I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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