There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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