I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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