was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
my sisters under your porch take her home
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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