You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
