..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
