Your mouth is God's brothel.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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