of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
