sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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