everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
