I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
