Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
