i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I wear drunk well.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
