im holly from the hills drunk
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
