Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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