Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
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