We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
