I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
We are two peas in an std pod
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
