He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
