You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
