just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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