Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
