So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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