Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
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