I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
