Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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