No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
