It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
