Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
