im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You made out with two different species that night
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
