I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
