...so i touched it.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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