wakey wakey hands off snakey
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
