sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
