If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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