She's like a pop up book from hell.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
