so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
