As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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