I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
