I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
