Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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