i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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