Betty ford says i'm here all night
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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