i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
