This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
