just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
