i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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