I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
