We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
