I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
