We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
