dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
