The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
