i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
