Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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